Springtime in Paris

Traveling was something I had not done in over 15 years. That was 3 years ago.

One day a good friend of mine and I were talking about purchasing ourselves a Louis Vuitton purse, (a luxury we owed ourselves after many years of working). Out of the blue she exclaimed, “Let’s go buy it directly from Paris”. Crazy as it sounded, I immediately replied “YES!”

Ah, April in Paris, a dream come true!

When I was married my husband and I talked about going to Paris for our 25th wedding anniversary. But when the time came, I had no interest to go.

We arrived on a beautiful sunny spring day. The trees were in bloom. The boutique hotel was elegant with excellent service and hospitality. It was situated in the Champs-Élysée district. The concierge greeted us and asked us to follow him to the sitting room while our rooms were being prepared and offered us refreshments.

Once settled in our rooms and freshened up we made our way to the Louis Vuitton store. It was a block away so we walked there. The security guard at the door welcomed us and a Sales person took charge of us after we finished exploring the store. We were seated at a counter and they offered us champagne or any other refreshment we desired. While we sipped our champagne the salesperson, put on a pair of black cotton gloves then proceeded to show us all of the bags we wished to see. I remember asking myself, “am I really in Paris sipping champagne at the Louis Vuitton store”? It was surreal!

The days that followed were about shopping and dining in fine restaurants with the occasional afternoon stop at a café for croissants or a Parisian ham and cheese sandwich in a crispy baguette. The French waiters were very engaging and enjoyed serving us.

The next major designer purchase was a pair of shoes from Christian Louboutin, well known for his famous red soles. We both bought a pair of sling backs with golden studs, which we wore that evening for supper at the rooftop restaurant, the Kong, (featured on one of the Sex and the City episodes).

On one of the rainy days, we visted the Musée d’Orsay the home of the well known masterpieces such as Monet, Degas, Van Gogh. Near the end of our tour of the museum, my friend and I had been admiring a sculpture when a gentleman behind us, a Parisian, engaged us in conversation. He introduced himself as Jean Francois and asked where we were from. He told us that he enjoyed visiting the museums, “a good place to meet women”, he said. We laughed. He offered to take us to visit le Palais Royal on the Saturday. We had agreed to meet outside a metro station. It had been raining on and off, that day; it was not a pleasant day to sightsee. I had a chance to stop at la Maison Fabre to buy myself some beautiful lamb skin gloves lined in silk. Later we stopped off at a cafe for some refreshments.

Jean Francois was in his early forties, recently divorced with a small child. He was infatuated with my friend. While enjoying our refreshments and small talk he received an urgent call from his babysitter. His child had taken a tumble; he needed to get home immediately. He ran off. My friend and I both looked at each other perplexed. When we realized that he had not paid for his coffee we laughed. Later that evening Jean Francois messaged my friend to apologize for his sudden departure and told her that his child had no serious injuries.

Going to Paris and living it in style was indeed one for the bucket list.

Expectations and Disappointments

This Thursday was Valentine’s Day, the day of expectations and disappointments.

When I was in elementary school, there would be the exchange of Valentine cards among the students. Each child would keep count on the number of cards they had received; the more you received, the more you felt noticed and loved by your classmates. I never got many cards but enough to know I had some friends. Some children were not so lucky. As I grew older, I dreamed of the day I would have a boyfriend that would give me a card, chocolates and roses. Alas, the most I got from my fiancée ,which lived overseas, was a Valentine card. When we were married, I can’t say I recall being pampered that way. You see, my husband was not considerate when it came to Valentine’s day, nor on any other occasion, for that matter. Any gift or flowers given to me for an occasion was because my older sister would urge him to do so and she would also take care of it. The first time he went out and ordered roses for me, by himself, was after a huge fight where we both started hitting each other. He felt bad, thus long stemmed roses arrived the next day.

A few years ago, on the morning of Valentine’s Day, I woke up questioning why I felt disappointed that I had no special man to bring me flowers. It was at that moment, that it came to me, why did I need a man to buy me flowers on this occasion? It’s a day of recognizing and appreciating the people we love in our lives not only boyfriends, life partners and husbands. That day I decided to purchase my own roses, (now a yearly tradition).

This year, I purchased 12 white roses which I always pick up at the grocery store. They are less expensive than at the florist.

I went to the pharmacy near my home to pick up a box of chocolates to bring to my esthetician and friend Maia, who never accepts a tip. At the pharmacy, there were several men in the Valentine section picking up chocolates for their loved one. It was amusing to watch them. They picked up the first heart shaped chocolate box they spotted and quickly left. Was it embarrassing to be seen selecting chocolates for the woman in their life or were they simply in a hurry to leave and be done with this task.

Most men know that women appreciate this type of demonstration of affection although they don’t expect the same in return. On his show, Thursday night, Jimmy Kimmel made reference to Valentine’ s Day and said that men would much prefer that their woman offered them sex instead. LOL!!!!

This Valentine Day, I did receive a card , a beautiful single rose and a box of chocolates from a special friend.

When there are no expectations, there are no disappointments and maybe some pleasant surprises.


Coming out of a 32 year marriage and suddenly becoming single was certainly a big change, to say the least. You go from being a duo, a couple to solo, single. Since my marriage had become very toxic in the last 5 years prior the divorce, I savored every moment of being single. I became calmer, relaxed with alot of time on my hands. The first 2 years were years of adjustment and transition. Many times I pinched myself with euphoria that I was no longer in this relationship. I felt that I was freed from prison after serving a life sentence. New adventures and experiences were on the horizon.

I started by taking back my maiden name. It took alot of work. I had to change all my personal documents to reflect my maiden name, ie: Driver’s License, medicare, SIN, passport, life insurance, the list goes on . A new Will and Testament had to be made. It took over a year before all the changes were done.

I went around the house and started to pack away family photo’s of him and any small personal items he left behind. Painters were hired to repaint the master bedroom. I redecorated it to become “my room”.

However, I was still living the drama of my failed marriage. Everytime I met up with friends we would talk about it. Family occasions were difficult; the kids now had to share their time separately between Mom and Dad.

I needed to understand when and why the marriage started to break down. It was an obsession. I spent countless hours revisiting our past conversations, his changed behaviours, pouring over letters and occasion cards he had written to me. I also surfed the internet to read up on narcissism. My therapist had suggested he might be a narcissist, based on what I used to tell her about my relationship.

When I finally discovered who his long time mistress was, I was shocked and angry . It was someone I knew! She became another of my obsessions. I needed answers!

My ex sister-in-law advised me to confront her, to have a physical altercation with her. Actually her words were something like this, “you need to defend what belongs to you and you must grab her by the hair and show her that no one touches what belongs to you.” Yes of course my basic instinct was to do just that and obtain revenge . Instead I chose civility; revenge was out of the question.

I did confront her to obtain answers, which of course she refused to give me. With great calm and dignity I told her what I thought of her. I know after our interaction she was not too proud of herself.

This confrontation was something that I needed to do for my peace of mind. It felt as if I had a sense of control over the betrayal. Does that make sense?

As a side note the Mistress did not end up with my ex; he has another woman in his life.

Three years ago I happened to cross paths with the mistress. I said hello and asked about her. She was happy to see me. After a brief exchange about our present lives she paused and asked for my forgiveness. That was something I wasn’t expecting. I accepted her apology. At that moment all the shame she felt evaporated. I saw it in her demeanor. Her face lit up and she asked to hug me. We hugged. It was healing for the both of us.

I no longer carry any anger towards her. That too is quite liberating.

A quote from Josh Billings:

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

Let’s Talk About Sex

Yes, lets talk about sex, specifically sex after 55.

Steamy novels fly off the shelves, pornography, movies and series with erotic scenes have a large following. We all know sex sells. So why are some women depriving themselves of their sexual fantasies?

As I mentionned in a previous post, I got in touch with my sensuality after my divorce and now have a healthy sex life. I enjoy the company of a man almost 20 years younger. He is kind, gentle, a good listener and the body of Michelangelo’s David. It’s a no label relationship. We can talk for hours about many things. We are sexually compatible and respect each other. The hours spent with this man fulfills me as a woman, something I never experienced with another man. He adores my body, what more can I ask for.

After 55, most women are menopausal and some have to deal with vaginal dryness causing painful sex and a declining libido. Sagging skin, wrinkles, saggy breasts and stomach fat is all they see when looking in the mirror. They may feel unattractive and old. Some actually believe that sex is over for them. It is no wonder these women have reservations about meeting a man and having sex, let alone a younger man.

We women, are so hard on ourselves. The ability to attract men does not only come from the physical appearance. Her sensualty can be more powerful.

This is the best time to enjoy sex. There is no fear of getting pregnant, no PMS, no menstruation. There are no barriers –vaginal dryness can be treated. Of course, always practice safe sex.

My advise is to get in touch with your sensuality, appreciate your feminine curves, bring out that sexy vixen that wants to come out and play. Feel feminine. It is a state of mind. The men will follow the scent.

Sex is an expression of Self. It is powerful, liberating and raw. Imagine, all the five senses are activated simultaneously, that makes for one extraordinary experience. Sex is the connecting of 2 souls.

We are living longer. Why must we deprive ourselves of a pastime and a pleasure that is free and invigorates the body and keeps us lubricated and young?

Many people tell me I look younger than my age. I tell them, ” the sex keeps me young.”

Find your inner Goddess and let the magic begin.

The Caveman Date

I went on a date recently. Hadn’t been on one in a long time.

A few years back I signed up with a dating agency. They sent me a match before Christmas and I accepted it. The gentleman contacted me a few days later to schedule a date. We agreed to meet for a a drink. He was 67 tall and lean. Not bad looking.

I arrived at the restaurant earlier then planned since I already was in the area. It was dinner time so I ordered a buger and a beer. When he arrived, the waitress came over to take his order. He pointed at my glass of beer and said,” a beer but half of that.”

I got the conversation started. He spoke about his work, his daughter, the new cottage, the renovation of his duplex, his ex-wife. I listened. After all the talk he asked what I was looking for. I replied that we could start by getting to know each other as friends and then if there was chemistry between us we would take it to the next level. At that point he sighed with relief saying, “Ok that sounds fine with me.” He then went on to say that he had to leave to go to the gym. He hesitated momentarily, while reaching for his wallet. He pulled out a $10 bill, saying ” I gotta go, this should cover it.” He got up, hugged me and said how nice it was to meet me.

What just happened?

Honestly, I didn’t think he would contact me again, but to my surprise, he texted that same evening:

“It was nice to have met u and it was nice chatting. Speak soon and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

I didn’t hear back from him until 10 days later. He texted asking if I was free for dinner on the Sunday or Monday of the following week. I confirmed for the Monday.

On the Monday he sent me the following text:

“Hey good morning. Are we still on tonight? I could meet u st 730 as i have an appointment with the Dentist. Do u want to go for a bite or if not I can bring over a bottle of wine. Or any other suggestions would work also. Let me know”.

I felt that his suggestion to come over with a bottle of wine was brazen.

I replied that we were still on and would prefer to go for a bite. He then asked where I would like to go and if he could pick me up. I told him to pick the restaurant and I would meet him there.

Again, why did he suggest to pick me up? Did he hope I would invite him in for a nightcap after our dinner date?

I arrived first, but to my surprise the byob restaurant was closed. It was raining, so I decided to wait for him in the adjacent restaurant. He arrived a few minutes later. I called to let him know where I was. He asked if the restaurant was a byob. I said, “no”. He replied ” I guess we won’t be having any wine tonight.” (Wait, he might not have wine cause ordering a bottle was too expensive for him but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t order a glass of wine with my meal).

The waiter showed us to our table. We looked at the menu while having small talk. The waiter came by for our orders. When I placed mine I asked him to bring me a glass of wine. My date placed his order and then told the waiter in a somewhat embarrassed tone, “I guess I ‘ll have a beer.” Throughout the meal he did most of the talking (mostly because I like to ask questions so I can get to know the person). While speaking, he often had the need to scratch the side of his chest near his armpit. Hmmm, nervous tic or pre-historic man? At one point he brought up the fact that he hadn’t had sex in 4 years. I interpreted that statement as, “will you be willing to satisfy my craving for sex?”

After the meal he again asked me what I was looking for. I repeated, ” Let’s get to know each other as friends and if there is chemistry between us, we can take it to the next level.” He concurred.

The waiter came by to ask if we wished to pay cash or credit but looked at me when he asked the question. I responded, “Ask the gentleman.” My date quickly replied that he would pay with his credit card. I graciously thanked him for paying my meal, telling him that the next meal would be on me.

He walked me to my car and then awkwardly kissed me on both cheeks. We said good- bye and went on our way.

The next day I received this text from him:

Thanks for a nice evening. You had a sexy top on. I wanted to kiss u on the lips last night but it was difficult in the parking lot.

Wow! Not once during our evening did he compliment me or flirt and now he was talking about how sexy my top was and how he wanted to kiss me on the lips!

I politely texted back:

I enjoyed our dinner too.

Two days after I received this text from my date,


Hi . How is your day? Mine was good. I am in one of those moods tonight. LOL. I am just being honest with u as always. It stucks to be a male sometimes.


What’s going on?


LOL just need some sexuality I guess😡


I see.


I’m sorry I offended u. You sound like my doctor


Sorry, but I’m not interested.


Ok can I still see u. I am not usually like this. U mentioned it a few times that it was ok so I thought that I would ask.

Am I digging a hole that I cant get out of?


U r not digging a hole but i m not interested in u sexually.

After this interaction I did not hear back from him except after the new year. He texted, to wish me a happy new year.

Are you as baffled as I am?

Whatever happened to the fine art of seduction or flirtation or just plain respectful conversation between a man and a woman? Did it gradually go down the drain after the women’s liberation movement?

I’ve been on a number of dates over the past 3 years. I found the men to be like fish out of water when it comes to dating. They seemed awkward, uncomfortable. Most of the conversation became about them because they lacked basic conversation skills. Others were more direct, that is, after the usual pleasantries were exchanged, I was asked my views on sex, (ie: the sex positions I enjoyed) or of how they could steal a kiss from me.

Talking about this makes me visualize the image below, a caveman grunting to a woman while dragging her by the hair to his lair, “ME MAN, YOU WOMAN, LET’S F***!”

Where did evolution go wrong?


Like all 50+ women single or otherwise, we must all go through the torture chamber called” The Mammogram”. Today was my scheduled appointment. I can’t understand how technology has not been developed to make this procedure less painful. That said, I am still grateful that screening of any kind, exists.

In the waiting room there were men accompanying their spouses/partners for moral support. Single women instead are usually alone. That is one of the downsides of being single. But in all honesty, I don t mind going alone. The upside of being single, however, is that I’m not accountable to anyone. I make all the decisions and, don’t have my spouse criticizing my decisions or having to consult with him before one is taken. I can be spontaneous and accept last minute invitations to outings and come home at any hour. I’m not sharing a bed and can toss and turn as I please. I have the bathroom and walk-in closet all to myself. I relish being alone and living alone. Sure there are times I need that WARM HUG but that’s a small price to pay for all the benefits of being single, FREEDOM!

I know, I know, some of you are going to be protesting that you are happily married and in a respectful relationship, but I am talking about my personal experience. Please do not get all worked up over my comments, LOL!!!! For now the single status gives me certain liberties that I can’t have in a committed relationship, namely dating other men and exploring my sensuality. But most importantly, getting to know me and loving myself for who I am.

The Transformation

Most people will go through some transformation when they become single. The obvious change is usually the physical appearance.

I believe the biggest transformation happens on the inside. There are many negative feelings to deal with during the period of divorce or following the death of a spouse. In my case, I felt betrayal, guilt, sadness, anger, fear, shame, disappointment, loneliness, and rejection, to name a few, LOL! I knew, that to survive and live a healthy life both emotionally and physically, I would have to deal with each and everyone of these feelings. Not any easy feat. Writing in a daily journal was a way to vent my feelings but that was not enough. Doing therapy helped but I needed healing at a deeper level.

My eldest sister pointed me in the direction of a woman who was a Reiki Master. Reiki is a form of energy healing, an Asian method, used to encourage emotional or physical healing.

When I went to my first session I was greeted by this beautiful woman who’s dark brown eyes held such compassion and warmth. She introduced herself and hugged me saying what a pleasure it was to meet me. I suddenly felt like a child enveloped in her mother’s warm embrace. During the session I was able to clear my thoughts and rest my body, mind and spirit. This woman had temporarily taken away my emotional burden. She felt my pain and gave me some spiritual guidance. I continued to see her for a few more sessions. With each session I grew spiritually. Her kindness, jolliness and empathy filled my soul with positive energy. I felt connected to God and the Universe. She touched my life in a very profound way. The healing began.

This openness to spirituality and God guided me through my cancer phase. I learned to respect my body, mind and spirit. It has given me the courage to face life’s curve balls and to be grateful for the small things that we take for granted.

Transforming my physical appearance is a work in progress much like my emotional growth; it changes as I grow as a person.

The most beautiful physical attribute and everyone has it– is your smile. Always wear it!