Twenty three years ago today I moved into my dream house. It remained my home even after the divorce and continues to be my current residence. It may be too big for a single person but for me, it truly is my shelter and refuge. My grandchildren love this home too and that is important to me. It’s the only home they associate their Nana with. This house has seen my life unfold in ways I could never have imagined at the time. The move was a turning point and I didn’t know it.

One of the changes that occurred shortly after moving in was the start of a new friendship with my next door neighbors, who were in the same stages of life as my husband and I. We became close, spending many evenings together. Then 6 years ago my neighbor, the wife, passed away from an aggressive cancer. I was divorced by then. Her husband now a widower and I a divorcee continued to be friends. That all changed when he started a serious relationship with a woman. His girlfriend felt threatened by our friendship. Overnight we went from friends to cordial neighbors. Another neighbor also a divorcee who was part of my life and I of hers over the past 12 years drifted apart once she got into a relationship with a man 18 months ago. This month she sold her home and I doubt there will be much contact after she leaves.

These two neighbors both distanced themselves after entering in a relationship with new partners. But friendships dissolve for other reasons too. I let go of some friends that have been in my life for some time but not for the same reason. There are certain friends I no longer feel a connection to. The pre-Covid life distractions are not there to deter me or confuse me; I can see clearer. For now my joy comes from living in the moment, working on my crochet projects, writing, but what lights up my heart is seeing the love in my grandchildren’s eyes, their curiosity and enthusiasm.

Friends come and go. Life has a way of putting people on your path for a reason and when they’ve served their purpose they are gone.

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