Today my eldest daughter turned 40 at 6:08 A.M.,DST , a milestone birthday. When I reflect upon that day I remember the joy of having conceived and given birth to a healthy baby girl, for becoming a mother. I felt that I had accomplished something special and important.
Today I feel sad. Why? Because she’s not my baby anymore. She is a beautiful independant, strong woman and a mother of 2 boys and very busy. Another reason I feel sad is due to the fact that I cannot reminisce her birth and her childhood with her father, on this special day.
I think for most mothers a child’s birthday, is not only a reminder of another year gone by but also a reminder of their birth and the beginning or continuation of the New family unit.
I’m divorced, “The Family” is never the same after such a traumatic event. Yes, with time everyone adjusts to the new reality but that feeling of belonging becomes severed. It is during these life events, ie: a birthday, that it becomes blatantly clear!
My inner voice is screaming at me. It’s telling me that I failed my children. I guess that is one of the reasons we’re taught that Marriage is sacred!
Feeling sadness is the price I must pay for choosing to find my happiness by divorcing the father of my children.