I went on a date recently. Hadn’t been on one in a long time.
A few years back I signed up with a dating agency. They sent me a match before Christmas and I accepted it. The gentleman contacted me a few days later to schedule a date. We agreed to meet for a a drink. He was 67 tall and lean. Not bad looking.
I arrived at the restaurant earlier then planned since I already was in the area. It was dinner time so I ordered a buger and a beer. When he arrived, the waitress came over to take his order. He pointed at my glass of beer and said,” a beer but half of that.”
I got the conversation started. He spoke about his work, his daughter, the new cottage, the renovation of his duplex, his ex-wife. I listened. After all the talk he asked what I was looking for. I replied that we could start by getting to know each other as friends and then if there was chemistry between us we would take it to the next level. At that point he sighed with relief saying, “Ok that sounds fine with me.” He then went on to say that he had to leave to go to the gym. He hesitated momentarily, while reaching for his wallet. He pulled out a $10 bill, saying ” I gotta go, this should cover it.” He got up, hugged me and said how nice it was to meet me.
What just happened?
Honestly, I didn’t think he would contact me again, but to my surprise, he texted that same evening:
“It was nice to have met u and it was nice chatting. Speak soon and enjoy the rest of the evening.”
I didn’t hear back from him until 10 days later. He texted asking if I was free for dinner on the Sunday or Monday of the following week. I confirmed for the Monday.
On the Monday he sent me the following text:
“Hey good morning. Are we still on tonight? I could meet u st 730 as i have an appointment with the Dentist. Do u want to go for a bite or if not I can bring over a bottle of wine. Or any other suggestions would work also. Let me know”.
I felt that his suggestion to come over with a bottle of wine was brazen.
I replied that we were still on and would prefer to go for a bite. He then asked where I would like to go and if he could pick me up. I told him to pick the restaurant and I would meet him there.
Again, why did he suggest to pick me up? Did he hope I would invite him in for a nightcap after our dinner date?
I arrived first, but to my surprise the byob restaurant was closed. It was raining, so I decided to wait for him in the adjacent restaurant. He arrived a few minutes later. I called to let him know where I was. He asked if the restaurant was a byob. I said, “no”. He replied ” I guess we won’t be having any wine tonight.” (Wait, he might not have wine cause ordering a bottle was too expensive for him but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t order a glass of wine with my meal).
The waiter showed us to our table. We looked at the menu while having small talk. The waiter came by for our orders. When I placed mine I asked him to bring me a glass of wine. My date placed his order and then told the waiter in a somewhat embarrassed tone, “I guess I ‘ll have a beer.” Throughout the meal he did most of the talking (mostly because I like to ask questions so I can get to know the person). While speaking, he often had the need to scratch the side of his chest near his armpit. Hmmm, nervous tic or pre-historic man? At one point he brought up the fact that he hadn’t had sex in 4 years. I interpreted that statement as, “will you be willing to satisfy my craving for sex?”
After the meal he again asked me what I was looking for. I repeated, ” Let’s get to know each other as friends and if there is chemistry between us, we can take it to the next level.” He concurred.
The waiter came by to ask if we wished to pay cash or credit but looked at me when he asked the question. I responded, “Ask the gentleman.” My date quickly replied that he would pay with his credit card. I graciously thanked him for paying my meal, telling him that the next meal would be on me.
He walked me to my car and then awkwardly kissed me on both cheeks. We said good- bye and went on our way.
The next day I received this text from him:
Thanks for a nice evening. You had a sexy top on. I wanted to kiss u on the lips last night but it was difficult in the parking lot.
Wow! Not once during our evening did he compliment me or flirt and now he was talking about how sexy my top was and how he wanted to kiss me on the lips!
I politely texted back:
I enjoyed our dinner too.
Two days after I received this text from my date,
Hi . How is your day? Mine was good. I am in one of those moods tonight. LOL. I am just being honest with u as always. It stucks to be a male sometimes.
What’s going on?
LOL just need some sexuality I guess😡
I’m sorry I offended u. You sound like my doctor
Sorry, but I’m not interested.
Ok can I still see u. I am not usually like this. U mentioned it a few times that it was ok so I thought that I would ask.
Am I digging a hole that I cant get out of?
U r not digging a hole but i m not interested in u sexually.
After this interaction I did not hear back from him except after the new year. He texted, to wish me a happy new year.
Are you as baffled as I am?
Whatever happened to the fine art of seduction or flirtation or just plain respectful conversation between a man and a woman? Did it gradually go down the drain after the women’s liberation movement?
I’ve been on a number of dates over the past 3 years. I found the men to be like fish out of water when it comes to dating. They seemed awkward, uncomfortable. Most of the conversation became about them because they lacked basic conversation skills. Others were more direct, that is, after the usual pleasantries were exchanged, I was asked my views on sex, (ie: the sex positions I enjoyed) or of how they could steal a kiss from me.
Talking about this makes me visualize the image below, a caveman grunting to a woman while dragging her by the hair to his lair, “ME MAN, YOU WOMAN, LET’S F***!”
Where did evolution go wrong?