My mandate after becoming single.

For most of my life I was surrounded by women. Our household comprised of 5 females, my mom, my aunt, 2 sisters and myself. I remember my father only present at suppertime and Sundays. The majority of my cousins were female. I went to an “all girls” elementary school. The only male present was the janitor! In highschool, the boys and girls were segregated. It became coed the last 2 years of my attendance. After high school I started working full time at a company that had all female employees, the only males were the sales team and upper management. A few years later as the workforce changed, most of my immediate bosses were female. I did not have male friends growing up. My only boyfriend became my husband. I had 2 daughters.

The male species was an enigma for me and I had limited admiration for those that touched my life.

When I became single it became my mandate to familiarize myself with the opposite sex. I was attracted to men and liked to socialize with them but was not impressed by them. This was not a healthy attitude.

Books have been written about the male psyche namely, Dr Joyce Brothers wrote ” What Every Woman Should Know About Men”. Then there was the famous book from John Gray, “Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus and Steve Harvey’s, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.”

Reading about it was not enough, I needed to learn first hand.

How was I going to go about this?

When I decided to join the on line dating scene, I realized this would be the perfect way.

I had conversations with many men and met several more in person.

This experience has given me much insight into mens’ behaviours and actions.

Today, they are less of an enigma. I have been able to reason past hurts and expectations with regard to the men in my life.

The conclusion, and I state this without prejudice, is as follows:

“At heart, men are still insecure boys looking for a woman to accept them as they are and bear witness to their life.”

I welcome your comments.

10 thoughts on “My mandate after becoming single.

  1. My opinion on men? Let’s see now, about a year after my divorce, I decided to start dating, I have been on numerous dates with men from all walks of life (professionals, artists, athletes, nationality, financially well off, not so well off). At times I had 3 different dates in one day! My mission? To understand how the male mind works, how is their thinking different from women. Taking on this mission, like you Carole, I read a few books, one in particular was “The Manual” by Steven Santagati. A bad boy shares his secret on how men think, date, and mate. And what women can do to come out on top. I felt confident and ready to hit the dating scene. I can honestly tell you that only a handful were what I would say, decent. So after a long list of dates, I quit! Until recently!

    Early November of this year, I went on a date with a man I had met a year ago at a job workshop. He was my counsellor. I was rather surprised to hear from him! I thought he was married! Of course, before accepting to go on a date, I asked a few questions to find out if he was single.
    I thought the date went splendid! All the signs that he was very much interested were there! The eye contact, the slight touching of the hand, the leaning forward, the flow of conversation, the funny comments, waking me to the car, kiss on the cheek, a hug and the promise of a dinner date within the week! A week passed and no text, no call. Several more weeks passed and still nothing. Well, I sure was not going to call him! A few days ago, I received a txt wishing me Happy Holidays and that he would like to get together before he goes back to work Jan 8. I wouldn’t hold my breath on this one! My opinion on men! That they sure are a difficult species to understand! I am sure there are good men out there, I think I have just been looking in all the wrong places!


    1. Thanks for sharing. Indeed your experience is similar to mine. We ll let time see what it has reserved for us when it comes to finding a “good one”.


  2. Men 😂😂😂😂😂
    I always say….men are grown kids in constant need of Care and attention.
    I could write a book on their behavior, thinking and acting. But I will limit myself on saying that life is great without them and women should learn to “use” them just as they do with women. The female specie, since the tender age,has a constant dream: to marry her prince! Once married the fairy tale ends and realizes that : love is blind but then marriage brings back the eyesight😂.
    Men only aim for one thing….sex!
    Althought I think the spicie has disappeared 😂, I still believe that somewhere out there ,we can still find searious responsable loving and caring men.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s