When people find themselves single again after, a divorce, the death of a spouse, etc., most will search for someone new to love. They hope to find their “ideal relationship”. I was one of those people. Society, also expects us to be in a relationship. How many times have you, the single person, been asked by a friend, co-worker, or family, “have you met anyone?”. I too, have asked that question, to my single friends.
Off I went on my quest to find the ideal mate. I spent countless hours on dating sites and joined various leisure activities in the hope of finding the one. I went on numerous dates only to come back empty handed, discouraged and disappointed. I finally threw my hands up in despair exclaiming, “Where the f*** is my soulmate!!!”.
In my blog, Sexuality part 2, I mentionned the type of men I met on the dating sites, younger men looking for sex with an older woman and men in my age range that were totally unappealing, many still with young dependant adult children.
I concluded that a man who is financially secure, confident and appealing would probably have no need to go on a dating site, because the truth is, there are many available women to choose from. Of course there are always some exceptions. A male friend of mine who fits the latter description was on a dating site for a very short time. He met a woman, but not through a dating site. However, I know of people who have found a mate through on-line dating.
After all my searching and dead end dates, I questioned why I needed to find someone. I asked myself the hard question. How would finding a mate at this age, enrich my life? I already raised a family–don’t want to have someone else’s. I have good and caring friends, to go out with , to go on vacation with and a sexy handsome younger man to share a bottle of wine, intelligent conversation and intimacy with. I am financially independent and have a car. Why the f*** would I want a life partner! When I was being treated for cancer, my daughters, family and friends were there for me. I did not have a husband or a boyfriend by my side.
Society makes us feel that we need to be in a relationship or we are not complete. If we can’t find someone we then end up thinking that we are not good or worthy enough. The fact is, that a relationship between a man and a woman requires a lot of work. There is accountability, concessions, and a lot of giving and taking. At this stage of my life, I’m not willing to embark in such a relationship. There are many other interesting distractions, namely discovery of SELF !