The Hunt for the Special Someone

When people find themselves single again after, a divorce, the death of a spouse, etc., most will search for someone new to love.  They hope to find their  “ideal relationship”. I was one of those people. Society,  also expects us to be in a relationship. How many times have you, the single person, been asked by a friend, co-worker, or family, “have you met anyone?”. I too, have asked that question, to my single friends.

Off I went on my quest to find the ideal mate. I spent countless hours on dating sites and joined various leisure activities in the hope of finding the one. I went on numerous dates only to come back empty handed, discouraged and disappointed. I finally threw my hands up in despair exclaiming, “Where the f*** is my soulmate!!!”. 

In my blog, Sexuality part 2, I mentionned the type of men I met on the dating sites, younger men looking for sex with an older woman and men in my age range that were totally unappealing, many still with young dependant adult children.

I concluded that a man who is financially secure, confident and appealing would probably have no need to go on a dating site, because the truth is,  there are many available women to choose from. Of course there are always some exceptions. A male friend of mine who fits the latter description was  on a dating site for a very short time. He met a woman,  but  not through a dating site. However, I know of people who have found a mate through on-line dating.

After all my searching and dead end dates, I questioned why I needed to find someone. I asked myself the hard question. How would finding  a mate at this age, enrich my life? I already raised a family–don’t want to have someone else’s.  I have good and caring friends, to go out with , to go on vacation with and a sexy handsome younger man to share a bottle of  wine, intelligent conversation and intimacy with. I am financially independent and have a car. Why the f*** would I want a life partner! When I was being treated for cancer,  my daughters,  family and friends were there for me.  I did not have a husband or a boyfriend by my side.

Society makes us feel that we need to be in a relationship or we are not complete. If we can’t find someone we  then end up  thinking that we are not good or worthy enough. The fact is, that a relationship between a man and a woman requires a lot of work. There is accountability, concessions, and a lot of giving and taking. At this stage of my life, I’m not willing to embark  in such a relationship. There are  many other interesting distractions, namely discovery of SELF ! 

 

   

14 thoughts on “The Hunt for the Special Someone

  1. I just read your most recent blog and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t believe you are the type of person that cares what society thinks. I am envious of your social life ,you come and go as you please that is the life. I was single for a number of years and at times I miss the independence I had back then. Relationships are never easy you constantly have to work at it , enjoy the freedom you have . When the right person comes along you will know exactly what you want in a mate. Only a strong and confident person would be able to write the blog you have written . I am proud to know you.

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  2. Its not easy in this new age era for women also coming to a certain age to want to have someone especially with the social epidemic bombaring about what is beauty relationship how we should say or do when we go on dates and soo many book about relationship its too overwhelmed …. I always feel that to ask for guidance i feel the best things is to ask someone who been married for so many years that are in a loving caring respectful couples to ask what makes they relationship to last …. And also is to really listen to your intution that the key and just be honest and be yourself when meeting someone … Theres a lot of pressure for women

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  3. Beautiful stated. I agree that society with movies, television program, soap operas and also what people instal in our brain since birth of what is true love in relationship and what is to become a wive and husband. Threw the experience i accounter in my past and threw my spiritual mediumship i been teach by my spirit guides what is true love between ourself and between two people. That all the people that we cross path with, is our mirror of inner self the good or the bad and every loving relationship with a man or a women is a part of a karmic contract for us to evolve and growth to correct our ways . a soul agreement we made to each other before we arrive on this Earth. When the contract is terminated we seperated ourselve from that person to move on to another level of awareness. I do strongly believe that everyone on this planet has a true soulmate for a spiritual mission on a different level consciousness and that depends of what your Soul agreed before coming to this Earth only you and God knows your truth and who your belong to.To reach that awareness we must go threw different stage of our life and when we cultivate this gem in us we are able to relfect this same awareness on another person who will become our Soul Spiritual Paternship. Of what God the source or what you like to call it what your belief, created you. Its take many lifetimes to find that answer we crave dearly in our soul . first to reach that awareness we must find ourselve and connect to our Heart. The beauty is when we tap into our heart and be honest with ourself even if its hard to face our inner demons we can finaly start to know who we really are what we want and Just LIVE AND BE FREE THAT TO KNOWTHAT THE CREATOR LIFE GAVE YOU THE FREE WILL TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU ALWAYS ATTEND TO HAVE . 💗

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    1. Thank u for sharing those insightful thoughts. They r very deep. It is all about our spiritual growth. The more our awareness grows the better our life choices become.

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  4. I will agree that Discovery of self is very importatnent. I believe that the relationship we have with ourself is THE most important relationship of our lives. It sets the standard for all our other relationships, whether it be with a spouse , our children, coworkers or friends. When we are kind, patient and fully accepting of ourselves , we wil have much more love to offer others. ALL good relationships require work, concessions and give and take. But, we are accountable to nobody but ourselves. In my point of view, `The hunt for the Special someone` does not exist. The universe and our energy is what will determine our destiny!

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    1. I agree with your words. Resonate for myself too.first is with yourself and God .. I do truly believe in true love and for that special someone …i always say and believe if God created you to be unique special beautiful sweet kind in this billions people world and so much more why wouldnt he created that special someone for you only for you with is love?? … Its how i always thinking even when i got abuse and mislead by man and saw how i was in a dysfunctional family with no love between parents that i always had faith and believe in Love… 🌹

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  5. Whether you are single at 20, 30, or 60, you shouldn’t need a mate to feel complete. When I was in my 20s and single, I really hated when people I just met asked me if I had a boyfriend. I always felt that these people thought I needed a man to make me happy.

    I had a good life back then. I had my new found independence, was carefree and didn’t want to be tied down by anyone.

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