Three years after my cancer diagnosis(2015), my eldest daughter thought it was time for me to start dating. She felt I was focusing too much on her father, my ex. After extensive research on her part she referred me to a dating agency in town. I made an appointment.
I was both excited and nervous. A new adventure was about to begin. I got a match the very next day but refused it because he lived too far. A few weeks later I was sent another match and agreed to go on a date. He was 7 years older than me and retired. I don’t know if you’ll agree, but most men don’t age well, thus they must have other attributes. He didn’t. When he poked fun at my allegiance to God, that’s when I cut the date short. Not a good start, right?
At some point I realized that I needed to empower myself with knowledge of the male psyche and how to interact with them as an equal. I needed to learn the art of flirtation and how not to feel defenseless with a man but be the master of my own thoughts and feelings.
Earlier that year I attended a fundraiser for Mental Health Awareness, organized by a very good friend of mine. I won a door prize, a gift certificate at a spa. I decided to make an appointment the same week. The young woman who gave me the manicure was 25 years old, beautiful, vibrant, friendly and warm. She made me feel special. We clicked, instantly.
Now you must be wondering what this has to do with sexuality? Alot!!!
I continued to see my new esthetician for regular manicures and waxing. During the first waxing session I made the comment, “All waxed and no man to see the results”. She reassured me that I was an attractive woman and that I would meet someone soon, adding that I could have the cream of the crop because I was a “MILF”. I asked, “What is MILF?” She replied, laughingly, ” It’s an acronym for MOTHER I’D LIKE TO FUCK”. She continued to tell me that young men have fantasies about older women and that it wouldn’t be too long before I attracted one. OMG! What was she saying, that a younger man would actually desire me and want to have sex with me??? Not possible!!!
Well let me tell you, not too long after, a much younger man made his move. He was someone I had met casually a while ago. A sexy handsome devil with a gentle soul. One day we were sharing a glass of wine, he came close to me and kissed me. Let me tell you ladies, this man was amazing. I said to myself that if I were to die tomorrow, I’d die happy!
This sexual encounter expelled all my fears and preconceived thoughts about what makes a woman sexually attractive and desireable. It was a gift from the universe. I later told my therapist about it and she jokingly stated how now I was like the famous Mrs.Robinson, from the movie, “The Graduate”.
I was now ready to EXPLORE MY SEXUALITY. Remember, I was married for 32 years, a faithful partner with no previous sexual experience.
One quiet autumn day, I decided to try an on-line dating site. The dating agency was not coming up with any eligible matches. I was again excited with the prospect of finding an interesting man. When I saw the possible matches for my age range, I almost fell off my chair. These men were nothing like they advertised. They were old looking and many were not well groomed. A few days later I saw a TV ad for another on-line dating site. I set up my profile. The pool of eligible men was more of the same. I was discouraged. Many of the messages I received from this particular site were from scammers hoping to catfish some poor lonely woman. Much later I heard of another dating site. This one was free! Again, more of the same old looking unattractive men. The difference with the latter was that I was contacted by men of all ages. The cat and mouse game began. It became fun to interact with multiple men on-line. It was a safe place to flirt. I would be a different persona with each man. I was having fun but was always courteous and respectful.
I did go on a few dates with some of the men I met on-line. Each one was a unique experience–a story for each!
If you are wondering, I did end up having sex with some of the younger men, who to this day still contact me.
The one nippled woman, was now liberated to express herself sexually without any fears and judgement.
A la prochaine!