Sexuality, part 1

I have heard from some men that women after 50 are no longer desirable. The reasons differ. For example, the statements made were the following:

  • they are no longer sexual;
  • they are old and cannot compete with a younger woman, and; 
  • they are way too confident.

These comments can shatter a woman’ s self esteem and quash one’s hope of finding a prospect.

After my divorce, I truly believed I would have to settle for a man 10 to 20 years my senior. No man my age would be interested in me let alone a younger man. Frankly, I felt quite indignant; how is it that men can get younger women and we must resign ourselves to meeting seniors who are probably sexually impaired.

Anger towards my ex started to build up. He  told me in one of our post divorce tête a tête’s, that he wanted out of our marriage at least 10 years earlier but did not have the courage to tell me. Instead, he waited for me to find out about his secret affairs.

Here I was, almost 55, past my prime, how was I going to meet someone interesting when the pool of eligible men had greatly diminished. I was very angry and also feeling a little sorry for myself. He(my ex) denied me a second chance at starting a new relationship. Which man would want a post menopausal woman with saggy breasts,and sagging skin except for maybe a much older man.

I was barely 22 and a virgin when I married. My ex was my first boyfriend and sexual partner.

Many times during my 32 year marriage I wondered with some sadness, what it would be like to experience sex with another man. Would this other man make love to me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world? Would he be tender and sweet? Why sadness, you may ask?  Because I would never be unfaithful.

A year after my divorce, I got into a relationship with a man 21 years older than me. He was an intelligent, good looking gentleman. The relationship was an on again, off again type of relationship. He had family commitments that interfered with our relationship.

Two years after my divorce, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was at this point that my relationship with the older gentleman ended.
My sexual life was over!!! Which man would desire me after half of my left breast was removed. Now, I was menopausal, saggy and maimed! My life as a woman was over.

Four years prior the cancer diagnosis, my sexuality had been threatened by an illness.  I had to have a complete hysterectomy and went into immediate menopause.  I thought I’d lose my LIBIDO. Fortunately, the procedure did not affect my sexuality.

In recent years I started to ask myself why my sexual parts were touched by illnesses.  The answer is that I denied myself true sexual freedom and expression.

Alas! What will this old one nippled woman have going for her now? But, we must always have faith in the universe. Good things happen too! Life is full of surprises and lessons. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share.

It will give me great pleasure to write about them in my upcoming
posts, if my audience desires.

Please send me some feedback. 

Thank you.

Stay tuned for Sexuality, part 2…..

15 thoughts on “Sexuality, part 1

  1. I just love it. Waiting for sexuality part 2. Times have changed. I know a number of women that have a long term relationship with young men. In one case her situation was very similar to yours. As we get older we have more life experience and get more confident that is a good thing at least we don’t let anyone take advantage of us. You were always a very confident person it is part of your personality and it should be appreciated in any future relationship. As we get older we are less sexually inhibited which is a good thing. Personally I believe you look great you have a classy look that can turn heads something you acquired as you got older. Years ago I was in a relationship (4 years)with a younger person. Personally I prefer older men.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are well on your way to writing your interesting courageous inspiring life! Well done. Keep on giving us more! And by the way the men who say women over 50 are not desirable or sexy are blind! Cause we are out there! Not only sexy, desirable but with a whole lot of smarts! Do you agree?


  3. Oh dear Carol, women can and do date younger men. I’ve always told myself that I would go for a 10-15 years younger man if ever I would start a new life!
    The secret is to keep in shape and take care of your body,yourself. But also in the man’s intelligence in not judging by what he sees but consider the content of who he has right before his eyes. Now I realise what in the past decades people would say when turning 40 years old. It’s the begining of a new life, free from growing kids , a job, married, and on our way to menopause (which would mean for us women, to enjoy sex in complete freedom and not have to worry for a future possibility of being pregnant).


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