I have heard from some men that women after 50 are no longer desirable. The reasons differ. For example, the statements made were the following:
- they are no longer sexual;
- they are old and cannot compete with a younger woman, and;
- they are way too confident.
These comments can shatter a woman’ s self esteem and quash one’s hope of finding a prospect.
After my divorce, I truly believed I would have to settle for a man 10 to 20 years my senior. No man my age would be interested in me let alone a younger man. Frankly, I felt quite indignant; how is it that men can get younger women and we must resign ourselves to meeting seniors who are probably sexually impaired.
Anger towards my ex started to build up. He told me in one of our post divorce tête a tête’s, that he wanted out of our marriage at least 10 years earlier but did not have the courage to tell me. Instead, he waited for me to find out about his secret affairs.
Here I was, almost 55, past my prime, how was I going to meet someone interesting when the pool of eligible men had greatly diminished. I was very angry and also feeling a little sorry for myself. He(my ex) denied me a second chance at starting a new relationship. Which man would want a post menopausal woman with saggy breasts,and sagging skin except for maybe a much older man.
I was barely 22 and a virgin when I married. My ex was my first boyfriend and sexual partner.
Many times during my 32 year marriage I wondered with some sadness, what it would be like to experience sex with another man. Would this other man make love to me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world? Would he be tender and sweet? Why sadness, you may ask? Because I would never be unfaithful.
A year after my divorce, I got into a relationship with a man 21 years older than me. He was an intelligent, good looking gentleman. The relationship was an on again, off again type of relationship. He had family commitments that interfered with our relationship.
Two years after my divorce, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was at this point that my relationship with the older gentleman ended.
My sexual life was over!!! Which man would desire me after half of my left breast was removed. Now, I was menopausal, saggy and maimed! My life as a woman was over.
Four years prior the cancer diagnosis, my sexuality had been threatened by an illness. I had to have a complete hysterectomy and went into immediate menopause. I thought I’d lose my LIBIDO. Fortunately, the procedure did not affect my sexuality.
In recent years I started to ask myself why my sexual parts were touched by illnesses. The answer is that I denied myself true sexual freedom and expression.
Alas! What will this old one nippled woman have going for her now? But, we must always have faith in the universe. Good things happen too! Life is full of surprises and lessons. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share.
It will give me great pleasure to write about them in my upcoming
posts, if my audience desires.
Please send me some feedback.
Stay tuned for Sexuality, part 2…..